Thursday, 22 July 2010

Writing. Quality over clarity?

Lyle had them on tenterhooks. All faces at the table were fully his and attentively still. When it came to this field... well, he was something of an expert.
“Peas may have some good qualities but the disadvantages on your internal organs....” He whistled through his teeth. “Forget about it!”
The quiet man in the black suit piped up: “Why is it exactly that certain diets can make you live longer?”
“Ah!” Lyle grinned, wiping his mouth with a scarlet napkin. “It’s been shown that a matter of how healthy your digestive tract is usually correlates with life expectancy.”
The man, who had been very hushed all evening, spoke an eloquent little speech in which he conclusively refuted everything Lyle had said with actual case studies, telling the table in a modest voice that the only diet to increase longevity was a restricted one that slows metabolism.
It turned out the man was something of an expert.

Not the most riveting thing, I know, but constructive feedback would be loved.
Are there any literary passages you love though you're not 100% clear on meaning?

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